Fun and Games

Ok so where did the weekend go? Although I had a nice and relaxing weekend it once again flung past. My board games evening was a total flop seeing that it was only me and Dawie that pitched and we kind of concluded that we must be the only losers not busy on a Saturday night. Nevertheless we had a nice evening although I think Dawie got culture shock from the art films I tried to entertain him with. I forgot he is more the skop skiet en donner type.

Lets take this blue bul Monday by the horns and get it over and done with.

Computer problems lead to petrol problems

Don’t worry this is not another ranting and raving blog about car trouble, although it involves trouble related to my vehicle. My car was in for a service on Saturday, yes it was time again as I spend half my life on the road. I was rather surprised that the mechanics working on the car managed to get the onboard computer confused by cleaning an injection fuel filter. The way I discovered this was when I was on my way to Johannesburg that afternoon, and although the petrol light was on, the computer reassured me that I still had 90km of sheer driving pleasure on the tank. Oh boy was that the wrong information.

As I approached Marlboro on the M1 South my car nose-dived in the fast lane where I spend most my time. I quickly had to divert to the Toyota lane on the far left hand side and then disembarked the highway via the Marlboro off ramp. As I came to a standstill at the traffic light with piles of cars behind me, that was it, fuel was no longer present in the tank! So I did what any minibus taxi driver would have done, switched on my hazards and remained stationary. Luckily two opportunists prowling the area noticed my predicament and offered to push my car to the side of this doggy off ramp, close to where they regularly make fire to warm and light up the night. Off course I was too happy to pay the two men that came to my rescue, and they even offered to go buy me petrol if I were to give them money which I didn’t fall for as I grew up in Gauteng and that would just be idiotic.

So I took a walk to the nearest petrol station about two km’s away dressed in my gym attire, fortunately I was wearing comfortable shoes. After begging the petrol consultant for a bottle he first filled up the bottle to my disappointment with leaded petrol, now if I consider what two drops of the wrong power steering oil did to my car (R9K mistake) I wasn’t prepared to take any chances with leaded petrol on an empty tank of a car that is very pedantic about what it uses. So I decided to do my good deed of the day and gave 5 liters of petrol to the driver of the first old car that came driving into the petrol station. I think I made a friend there although the bastard didn’t even offer to take me back to my car. So after another R35, I finally had my 5 liters on unleaded petrol and I was on my way back to my car.

As I approached the area things started reminding me of crime scenes on TV. I was getting shivers down my spine. It felt like people looked at me like I was easy pray, probably because of the wallet I was carrying in my gym shorts pocket. As one’s imagination goes on a rampage one start to make emergency plans. Those of you who have seen my new cell phone would understand that it is possible to hide it on the side of one’s shoe just as a backup if you need to call the cops after you’ve been robbed from your wallet, watch, car etc. Luckily that wasn’t necessary.

As I arrived back at my car, all four wheels were still attached as the two opportunist looked after my car for me, and then they also insisted on helping me pour the petrol into my car as if I couldn’t manage that myself but at the time I didn’t feel too comfortable to resist. After thanking them politely I jumped into my car and locked the doors, they looked disappointed about not getting more money for their good deed, it’s not that I didn’t appreciate the help or not being willing to tip them again, I was just not comfortable producing my wallet in this particular public environment.

My car’s petrol light went on this morning again!

To whom it may concern

Dear Extended Family Members

Yes I am 27 years old unmarried and happy. Please don’t ask me when I’m getting married or getting a girlfriend ever again. The fact that I don’t have a ring on my finger doesn’t necessarily mean I’m the black sheep of the family, or that I’m not capable of satisfying a woman or that there is something else seriously wrong with me. Please take a look around you, it’s the 21st century, not all people allow society to force them in front of the alter anymore yes it still happens, that might be directly related to the high divorce rate.

So please don’t try and help me find the “perfect” woman, looking at some of your track records I think I have a better chance of finding the perfect partner myself, I’m not crying myself to sleep at night as yet if the picture changes (don’t hold your breath) I’ll shout for help. But for the time being I’m HAPPY, capich?

Yours sincerely

Julius (the youngest unmarried one...)

I'm still alive

My apologies for the lack of blog postings over the past few days. My new position is cutting in on my blog time. Nevertheless I’m still enjoying my new environment. I never could have imagined the kind of logistical nightmares that are associated with putting healthy protein filled meals on the table of the South African population. If any of you have any connections in the dairy industry, please let me know urgently, if you have milk, make your price, money is no object at this stage.

Over the past week I was privileged to have met the avocado tycoons of our day, people with a passion for avo, as well as visiting the factory of the spice moguls of South Africa, my sinuses finally returned to normal this morning. I also visited the lettuce magnates last weeks where 24 tons of lettuce is produced daily, yes you read correctly 24 tons of paper light lettuce! I was shocked not only by the volumes of lettuce (weighed by hand every day) but also by the fact that I was so over dressed for the occasion that my shoes will never be the same again! Remember I grew up as an Android in the infant stages of my career. So now the pair of safety shoes I received on my second day makes more sense.

Tasting new products is not that fun anymore, at least I don’t have to worry about lunch anymore, but this might interfere with my gym program.

Movie weekend

And a very good Monday morning to you all. This weekend was once again just a rumor in the back of my mind as it flung past like a swooped up Honda Civic on the East Rand. I did spend some time in the cinema over the past few days, so here is a quick recap.

Me and Dawie went to see Hostel 2 on Saturday. The movie was filled with senseless brutality which caused me to sit with my eyes closed most of the time. I didn’t get anything out of the movie. I would be really worried about anyone who enjoyed this movie. The special effects was very well done, seeing that the scenes were very realistic. I score the movie a 3.

On Sunday, Freaky and I went to see the fourth Die Hard movie. I suppose it wasn't all that bad, a bit far fetched if you ask me. But will someone just please kill John McClean!

My predicament

As most of you know by now, I get up before the crack of dawn on weekdays in order to ploy my way around peak hour traffic to Johannesburg. I went to gym, close to my office as I do most of the time. On my arrival this morning at the Fourways VA I realized I left all my toiletries at home! Now picture me, unshaven, with a cap on my head to disguise the absolute pandemonium on my head when I opened my bag to find a rather empty space!

So today I’m sitting at work with the day before yesterday’s five o’clock shadow and I had to improvise with my hair. Just a tip, hand soap can be substituted for hair gel if you use it sparingly, and don’t rub it, it will make foam! Thank goodness I discovered some deodorant in my car, because that one was a difficult one to substitute!

Shortbus

I manage to find myself in the Cinema Nouveau often these days. The most recent was to go and see what the controversial movie Shortbus is all about. The choice of movie for the night had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that real porn stars play the lead roles in the film. In fact I was rather shocked to see the uncensored nudity in the film, of course things I’m not used to. I think the film had a very low budget for costumes as the actors were naked most of the time.

Apparently the film is very deep. I must be rather shallow then as the storyline didn’t have much substance in my opinion. I acknowledge the fact that all the character had psychological issues, none of which came to a satisfactory conclusion. The only conclusion I could make is that the director tried to justify bigamy in some weird way.

The films scores a 6 ...........at least I stayed awake.....I wonder why.